Top 30 Chuck Norris FactsHere are the current Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts based on YOUR votes. Return to Current Rating: 4 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 4 Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.92 Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.88 Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing people with knives was too easy. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.74 When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.58 Chuck Norris can stick a CD up his ass and burn data onto it Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.56 Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.52 Due to Newton's 3rd law of motion, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.5 Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.5 Chuck Norris is the only person to count to infinity... twice. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.5 Chuck Norris can hear Silence Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.49 Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.46 When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.45 Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.44 The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.44 Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.43 Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.43 Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness, and possibly foot sized bruises on the face. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.4 Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.39 Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.39 Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.39 Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.38 Chuck Norris successfully separated twins conjoined at the head by roundhouse kicking them in the face. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.37 When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.37 Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.36 Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.35 When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.34 Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.34 Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Email Joke to as many as five friends Current Rating: 3.34 Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women. Email Joke to as many as five friends |