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Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts

Today's Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts according to the votes of our surfers.
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Random Chuck Norris Facts you can.
You can also get 30 Random Chuck Norris Facts.


Chuck Norris counted to infinity - backwards.

Current Rating: 3.95

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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.

Current Rating: 3.83

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Chuck Norris carved Mount Rushmore. With his feet.

Current Rating: 3.68

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Chuck Norris once shot a 33 on a 36-hole golf course.

Current Rating: 3.62

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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Current Rating: 3.61

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Chuck Norris can read lips- with his eyes closed.

Current Rating: 3.6

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Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.

Current Rating: 3.6

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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Current Rating: 3.59

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Chuck Norris can stick a CD up his ass and burn data onto it

Current Rating: 3.59

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Chuck Norris is the only person to count to infinity... twice.

Current Rating: 3.58

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The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris.

Current Rating: 3.58

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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants.

Current Rating: 3.57

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Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.

Current Rating: 3.55

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There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.

Current Rating: 3.55

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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Current Rating: 3.53

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Chuck Norris DOESN'T love Raymond.

Current Rating: 3.52

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Chuck Norris sells his urine...Of course we all know it as Red Bull.

Current Rating: 3.52

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CNN was originally the Chuck Norris Network but Chuck was so awesome when people watched it there heads exploded!

Current Rating: 3.51

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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Current Rating: 3.5

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Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated.

Current Rating: 3.5

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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...

Current Rating: 3.48

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Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Current Rating: 3.48

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The 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse' are more accurately: Chuck Norris' right hand, left hand, right foot, and left foot.

Current Rating: 3.48

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When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.

Current Rating: 3.48

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Chuck Norris taught the creator of the piano how to play it.

Current Rating: 3.46

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Chuck Norris successfully separated twins conjoined at the head by roundhouse kicking them in the face.

Current Rating: 3.46

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Chuck Norris once masturbated in a junk yard.

Nine months later Optimus Prime was born.

Current Rating: 3.46

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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Current Rating: 3.45

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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian.

Current Rating: 3.45

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Moses didn't separate the red sea, Chuck Norris did.

Current Rating: 3.45

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