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An Irish wife was having a shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping forwards or backwards, she slipped over, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Paddy. "Paddy! Paddy!" she yelled.
Paddy came running in, "Paddy, Oi've suctioned meself to the floor" she said.
"Ohhh bejasus!" Paddy said and tried to pull her up. "You're just too heavy lass, Oi'll go across the road and get Murphy" (his mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "Nope, Oi cannot do it" Murphy said, "Lets try Plan C"
"Plan C?" exclaimed Paddy, "What's dat den"?
"Oi'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we will break the tiles under her."
"All roight" Paddy said, "While your doing dat, oi'll stay here and play with her tits".
"Play with her tits?" Murphy said "Why would you be wanting to do dat then?"
Paddy replied "Well oi figure if oi can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive to replace."