Top 5 Best Puns

Current Rating: 3.16

The old west was full of cowboys who were good cow-ordinators. They had consider-a-bull talent, though sometimes they would stirrup trouble.

Sometimes they took hay to bed in order to feed their night mares. One cowboy reached for his gun and drew a blank. Eventually they would go off to a rodeo to try and get a few bucks.

Current Rating: 3.07

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 18 years, the son is old enough for his first drink.

His Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.

The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink'! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild.

The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink'! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left , then to the right, through the front door, into the street, where a truck smashes into him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent. The father cries hysterically. The bartender sighs and says 'He should have quit while he was a head!'

Current Rating: 3.06

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

Well, "It's Not Unusual."

Current Rating: 3.04

Two termites walk into a bar.

One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Current Rating: 3.03

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."

The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal."