Top 5 Best Political Jokes

Current Rating: 5

Flush from their Healthcare plan victory in Congress, the Obama administration is proposing mandatory Federal Auto Insurance.

Like healthcare, the government will fund car insurance for everyone who is unable to afford the increasing premiums by raising taxes on drivers who don't have accidents.

Current Rating: 5

In an orchestrated event to promote newer, more restrictive gun laws, President Obama addresses an audience of school children at a West Texas elementary school.

He stands silently at the podium and then begins to clap and pause, clap and pause. He does this for a while before speaking.

"Every time I clap my hands, a child somewhere in America dies from gun violence. Even a child should be able to see the solution." President Obama looks expectantly over the audience.

A little boy raises his hand. "Maybe you should stop clapping."

Current Rating: 4.67

When former top U.S. military commander in Afghanistan Stanley McChrystal got called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting Obama in his political role as President.

"Its not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, its my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied.

Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to piss on my grave."

The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."

Current Rating: 4.67

Ex President Jimmy Carter wants President Obama to take Hamas off the terror list.

That's funny, most Americans would like Jimmy off the ex Presidents list.

Current Rating: 3.64

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.