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Top 5 Best Man Jokes

Top 5 Best Man Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now. Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.

Current Joke Rating: 3.57

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As two women ate lunch together, they discussed the merits of cosmetic surgery. "I have to be honest with you," one woman said to the other. "I'm getting a boob job."

"Oh, that's nothing," her friend replied. "I'm considering having my asshole bleached."

"Wow," the woman replied. "I just cant picture your husband as a blond."

Current Joke Rating: 3.55

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Top 10 things MEN would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do a split.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.

1. Finally find that damned G spot!

Current Joke Rating: 3.5

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Mary: "My last boyfriend said he fantasized about having two girls at once."

Jill: "Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?"

Mary: "I said, 'If you can't satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off two?'"

Current Joke Rating: 3.36

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With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society...

DIRECTRA -a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA -Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA -Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."

COMPLIMENTRA -In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA -Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA -Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NAGA-SPORTAGRA -This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA -This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA -This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D.(Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA -About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors.

LIAGRA -This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

Current Joke Rating: 3.34

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