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Top 5 Best Lesbian Jokes

Top 5 Best Lesbian Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
Don't agree with these? Then rate all the Random Lesbian Jokes you can. We have many other categories that need rating too!


Heather invited her mother over for dinner. During the meal, her mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of Heather's sexuality and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two women interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Heather and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading her mom's thoughts, Heather volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Suzy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Suzy came to Heather and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Heather said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Heather received a letter from her mother which read:
"Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Suzy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Suzy. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."
"Love - Mum"

Current Joke Rating: 3.26

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A young woman goes to her doctor after noticing two small circular rash marks one on each side of her inner thigh.

The doctor instructs the woman to undress and sit on the table and spread her legs. Sitting between the young womans legs, the doctor looks up at the young woman and asks if she is a lesbian.

The young woman blushes and says, "Why yes I am." The doctor stands up, and tells the young woman, "Don't worry your rash will go away." The young woman asks what she needs to do. The doctor says, "Go home and tell your girlfriend that her earrings aren't real."

Current Joke Rating: 3.19

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My lesbian neighbors bought me a Rolex for Christmas...

I guess they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.

Current Joke Rating: 3.17

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Two lesbians were out playing golf. They tee off, one drive goes to the right, and one drive goes to the left.

One of them finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process, she hacks the hell out of the buttercups.

Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag, looks at her, and says:
"I am Mother Nature, and I do not like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea."

The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared.

Shaken, the woman calls out to her partner, "Hey, where's your ball?"

"It's over here in the pussy willows."

She screams back, "WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T HIT THE BALL! DON'T HIT THE BALL!"

Current Joke Rating: 3.11

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Q: What can two femmes do in bed?

A: Each others makeup.

Current Joke Rating: 3.11

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