Random Jokes
Submit a Joke
Jokes by Email

Best Jokes
15 Newest Jokes
Joke of the Day Categories

Joke Search

Adult Humor
Blonde Jokes - Women
Blond Jokes - Men
Chuck Norris Facts
Anti Chuck Norris Facts
Clean Jokes
Dirty Jokes
Dirty Riddles
Funny Jokes
Funny Rhymes
Funny Riddles
Gay Jokes
Gross Jokes
Jack Bauer Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Lawyer Humor
   Lawyer Jokes
   Lawyer Riddles
Lesbian Jokes
Little Johnny Jokes
Man Humor
   Man Jokes
   Man Riddles
Political Humor
   Obama Jokes
   Political Jokes
   Political Riddles
   Bush Jokes
   Clinton Jokes
   Dick Cheney Jokes
Red Head Jokes
Red Neck Humor
   Red Neck Jokes
   Might be a Red Neck Jokes
Religious Jokes
Sports Humor
   Sports Jokes
   Golf Jokes
   Hunting Jokes
Toilet Humor
Woman Humor
   Woman Jokes
   Woman Riddles
Yo Momma Jokes

Top 5 Best Dirty Jokes

Top 5 Best Dirty Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
Don't agree with these? Then rate all the Random Dirty Jokes you can. We have many other categories that need rating too!

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and says "I want a tattoo of ELVIS on the inside of my right thigh."

The artist says "No Problem, get undressed and lay on the table." When he is done, he says "So, what do you think?"

She replies," That doesn't look like ELVIS at all! I want you to do it over on the inside of my left thigh" The artist agrees and when finished, asks for her to appraise his work. "DAMMIT,..not only does that not look like ELVIS, it looks just like the tattoo on my other thigh!"

Calmly the artist asks her if she would like a second opinion and he walks outside and grabs the first person he sees...a drunk. He brings him back inside, shoves his face between her legs and says, "I want you to look at these two tattoos and tell me who it is?" The drunk looks at one tattoo, then the other, and exclaims, "Well...I don't know about the twins, but that's WILLIE NELSON in the middle!"

Current Joke Rating: 3.7

Rate This Funny Joke
5 - Hilarious Funny Joke!! 4 - Great Funny Joke 3 - Funny Joke 2 - OK Funny Joke 1 - NOT Funny Jokeblank image

A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother....who's only 9 years old...

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk. As you might expect things started to heat up. The guy remembered that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new position.

"Lettuce!!! Tomato!!! Lettuce!!! Tomato!!! Lettuce!!! Tomato!!!" she screams. "Lettuce!!! Tomato!!! Whoa!!! PULL IT OUT!!! PULL IT OUT NOW!!! I can't get pregnant!"

Then the little brother shouts up,"Hey, would you guys stop making sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!"

Current Joke Rating: 3.54

Rate This Funny Joke
5 - Hilarious Funny Joke!! 4 - Great Funny Joke 3 - Funny Joke 2 - OK Funny Joke 1 - NOT Funny Jokeblank image

Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Duane smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."

He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"

She's astounded! "Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They are full, don't sag, and they're 100% natural! My buns - they are firm and do not sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes or scars! Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!"

Clearing his throat once again, Duane stammers - "Outside when you said you heard someone coming? That was me."

Current Joke Rating: 3.54

Rate This Funny Joke
5 - Hilarious Funny Joke!! 4 - Great Funny Joke 3 - Funny Joke 2 - OK Funny Joke 1 - NOT Funny Jokeblank image

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.

As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn’t seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction.

This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.

He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong, honey, I love you, too."

Current Joke Rating: 3.51

Rate This Funny Joke
5 - Hilarious Funny Joke!! 4 - Great Funny Joke 3 - Funny Joke 2 - OK Funny Joke 1 - NOT Funny Jokeblank image

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing. The second dog turned to him and asked: "What are you in here for, buddy?"

The dog looked depressed, "I'm in big trouble", he said, "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."

"I know how you feel", said the second dog. "My owners have a beautiful, expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from work and I just couldn't help myself... I shit all over their nice carpet and ruined it. They're having me put to sleep, too."

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. "So what are you here for?" they asked.

"Well," said the third dog, "my owner likes to do her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she knelt down to vacuum under the sofa, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and had the ride of my life!"

The other dogs nodded in sympathy, "So she's having you put to sleep, too, huh?"

"No," said the dog, "I'm having my nails clipped."

Current Joke Rating: 3.5

Rate This Funny Joke
5 - Hilarious Funny Joke!! 4 - Great Funny Joke 3 - Funny Joke 2 - OK Funny Joke 1 - NOT Funny Jokeblank image