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Random 24 Jack Bauer Jokes

Random 24 Jack Bauer Jokes.
Check out our Top 30 Jack Bauer Jokes as rated by our users.
Rate some of our Random Jack Bauer Jokes.


When Kim Bauer killed her first terrorist, Jack Bauer shed a single tear. The tear was so salty that it caused eleven other terrorists in the nearby region to have a stroke. They died instantly.

Current Joke Rating: 2.56

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Jack Bauer wears his sunglasses at night because the sun never sets on a badass.

Current Joke Rating: 2.7

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Jack Bauer already knew where the nerve gas was. He just threatened to cut out Walt Cummings' eye for fun.<br>

Current Joke Rating: 3.06

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Jack Bauer would not put Rudy in the game.

Current Joke Rating: 2.88

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"The Lost Boys" is a documentary on Jack Bauer's early undercover work infiltrating a group of vampire terrorists.

Current Joke Rating: 3.21

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One time, at band camp, Jack Bauer took a flute and jammed it into a counselor's neck.

Current Joke Rating: 2.66

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If Jack's starring at someone and his eye twitches, assume that person has less than 15 minutes to live.

Current Joke Rating: 3

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Jack Bauer can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an alan key.

Current Joke Rating: 2.45

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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the A-Team, AND the Ghostbusters all have Jack Bauer lunch boxes.

Current Joke Rating: 3.15

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Jack Bauer was only wrong once, and that was when he thought he was wrong, but he was actually right.

Current Joke Rating: 3.04

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24 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.

Current Joke Rating: 3.11

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Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

Current Joke Rating: 3.06

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It is a known fact that when Time magazine awards "The Man of Year*", there is fine print on the bottom of the cover that says, " *besides Jack Bauer."

Current Joke Rating: 2.98

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When Neo and Jack Bauer fought, Jack shot him. Nobody dodges Jack Bauer's bullets.

Current Joke Rating: 3.2

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When Jack Bauer is asleep, time stops.

Current Joke Rating: 3

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Nobody messes with Jack Bauer's daughter and lives.

Current Joke Rating: 2.72

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In Season 3 Jack Bauer "distracted" an armed terrorist using only a lighter, some bullets, and a tin can. He then shot the man anyway.

Current Joke Rating: 3.24

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Many believe that a ham sandwich was the cause of Mama Cass's death. Sure, that's true if ham sandwich is synonymous with Jack Bauer.

Current Joke Rating: 2.81

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Jack Bauer caught a fly with chopsticks his fist try.

Current Joke Rating: 2.91

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Jack Bauer doesn't use roundup to kill the weeds in his yard, he uses a gun.

Current Joke Rating: 3.27

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Bedbugs tell their kids not to let Jack Bauer bite when they put them to bed.

Current Joke Rating: 3.54

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Don't mistake Jack Bauer giving up his weapon for weakness. He is the weapon.

Current Joke Rating: 3

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In the game of Euchre there are 24 cards. The most powerful card? That would be the Bower (pronounced Bauer)... a Jack, of course.

Current Joke Rating: 2.72

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MTV Room Raiders once tried to kidnap Kim and put her in on their show. Jack Bauer shot the men instantly. MTV has never tried to Raid Kim's room again.

Current Joke Rating: 2.91

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