Random 24 Jack Bauer Jokes

Random 24 Jack Bauer Jokes
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Best Jokes Jack Bauer Jokes

Jack Bauer can go back to the future without going 88 miles an hour.

Jack Bauer always gets checkmate in one move.

Jack Bauer has never met a terrorist he didn't like. To kill.

Jack Bauer taught the Russians how to play "Russian Roulette".

Jack Bauer doesn't stop at stop signs.

Jack Bauer has killed more people than Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris. And he did it in 24 hours.

Jack Bauer knows "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days". He kills them.

When Jack Bauer whispers something in Lil Jon's ear, he does not say "WHAT?!"

Remember those times when there were two sets of footprints in the sand? That was when Jack Bauer didn't feel like carrying you.

The capabilities of Jack Bauer's PDA are rivaled only by the computer book used by Penny on Inspector Gadget.

For Jack Bauer, everything on Wendy's menu costs a dollar.

Jack Bauer knows every bone in the human body... because he's broken every one.

I once played paint ball with Jack Bauer. I don't play it anymore.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Jack Bauer is not the second coming of Jesus Christ... Jesus Christ was the first coming of Jack Bauer.

We now understand how Desmond really got on the "LOST" island... he was a former German secret agent who pissed off Jack Bauer again and had to hide somewhere.

Jack Bauer doesn't like sports because everybody lives.

When Jack Bauer masturbates he doesn't touch himself at all. He just threatens his balls.

Jack Bauer is such a bad ass that as a Boy Scout he earned all his merit badges in one day.

Jack Bauer knows where Carmen San Diego is.

Jack Bauer made duct tape for the common man.

Freddy and Jason disappointed millions of fans when their fight ended up in a tie. Little do these fans know, the winner was supposed to face Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer invented the Jedi Mind trick. His only needed two words, "Trust me".

Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a pussy.