30 Random You Might be a Red Neck If Jokes30 Random You Might be a Red Neck If Jokes Return to You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on the farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday. You might be a redneck if... You think country and western are the two kinds of music. You might be a redneck if... You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. You might be a redneck if... You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again. You might be a redneck if... Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle. You might be a redneck if... Your home has more miles on it than your car. You might be a redneck if... There is a wasp nest in your living room. You might be a redneck if... Every time a neighbor's dog disappears, you have a Bar-B-Q. You might be a redneck if... Your truck can pass over a 55-gallon drum without touching it. You might be a redneck if... Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You might be a redneck if... After the creek floods your house, your wife wants new carpeting, and you say, "Why? It just got cleaned!" You might be a redneck if... Your car has never had a full tank of gas. You might be a redneck if... Dinner may or may not have tire tracks on it. You might be a redneck if... Your grandfather can sense a storm coming by a mysterious twitching in his knee. You might be a redneck if... You have borrowed gravel from the county toad to fill potholes in your driveway. You might be a redneck if... Your mother has ever run out of the bathroom and said, "Y'all come look at this before I flush it!" You might be a redneck if... You have to go down to the creek to take a bath. You might be a redneck if... Your grandmother stands up to pee. You might be a redneck if... You wet the bed and four other people immediately know it. You might be a redneck if... Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids. You might be a redneck if... You chewed tobacco at your wedding. You might be a redneck if... Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her mouth before telling the state trooper to kiss her ass. You might be a redneck if... Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her language. You might be a redneck if... You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house. You might be a redneck if... If your e-mail address ends in "over.yonder.com". You Might be a Redneck if... You've got more than one brother named, "Darryl." You might be a redneck if... You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport. You might be a redneck if... Your toothpaste has been used by more than one generation. You Might be a Redneck if... You know how to milk a goat. You might be a redneck if... You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. |