30 Random Chuck Norris FactsHere are 30 Random Chuck Norris Facts. Return to Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic. TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany. Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head. Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman. Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue. Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands. Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks. Chuck Norris can round house kick trees and turn them into furniture Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time. Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Chuck Norris When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII single-handedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking. July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not. Chuck Norris needs a monkey wrench and a blowtorch to masturbate. When God said let there be light, Chuck Norris opened the curtains. They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him. Chuck Norris can stick a CD up his ass and burn data onto it |