24 New Jack Bauer JokesThe most recently added 24 Jack Bauer Jokes. Please rate as many Random Jack Bauer Jokes as you feel like. Back to Added on November 20th Wheaties once asked Jack Bauer to be on the cover of their cereal box. However Jack turned them down. We all know he never eats. Added on November 20th Anytime Jack Bauer makes a list, when he gets to #24 his trigger finger twitches. Added on November 20th Jack Bauer's morning wood is strong enough to support a building. Added on November 20th Osama asked for a truce because he heard Jack Bauer got his address.. and is coming for dinner. Added on November 20th Jack Bauer once saw two gay men making out. They immediately turned straight. Added on June 23rd Jack Bauer is the reason Churchill and Stalin sat down with Roosevelt. Added on June 15th When Jack Bauer masturbates, he doesn't say he's going to jerkoff, he say's "it's time to punish my genitals". Added on June 15th If the groundhog sees his shadow, that means 6 more weeks of winter. If Jack Bauer sees your shadow, that means 6 more seconds to live. Added on June 15th Jack Bauer doesn't own Tivo. His VCR simply lives in fear of ever forgetting to record his shows again. Added on June 15th Even though Jack Bauer isn't big and green, don't make him angry. You won't like him when he is angry. Added on April 2nd Kim Bauer once brought her father to school for a parent/teacher conference.....and got expelled for bringing a weapon onto school grounds. Added on November 3rd Jack Bauer is the only reason Santa Claus is able to deliver presents to millions of children in a 24-hour period. Added on October 6th Jack Bauer would not put Rudy in the game. Added on September 22nd Jack Bauer can break eleven fingers at once, good thing you only have ten. Added on September 16th The reason why James Bond keeps switching the actors is because the writers keep hoping they'll get Jack Bauer. Added on July 14th Jack Bauer sends an ambulance after he shoots your innocent wife above the kneecap. Jack Bauer has morals. Added on July 14th When Jack Bauer is looking for a good laugh, he watches Chuck Norris work out on his Total Gym. Added on April 29th David Palmer did not get that horrible burn on his hand from a biological agent. He got it after he high-fived Jack. Added on April 29th When Jack Bauer does push-ups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down. Added on April 29th On Halloween, a child stopped at Jack Bauers house dressed in a terrorist costume. Jack killed him with a piece of candy corn before he noticed the difference. Added on April 29th If you're playing CounterStrike and Jack Bauer is on the other team, don't buy the AWP. All you're doing is saving him $4500 bucks. Added on April 29th Oil and Water don't mix, unless Jack Bauer tells them to. Added on April 22nd Jack Bauer can start a fire using only water. Added on April 22nd There is only one rule for dating Jack Bauer's daughter. Don't. |