30 Random Chuck Norris FactsHere are 30 Random Chuck Norris Facts. Return to Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. Chuck Norris can drown a fish. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough. Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting. Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten. Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight. Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels. Chuck Norris is the only man ever to beat Medusa at a staring contest Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives. Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound. In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill. Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can. Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade. Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'. |