30 Random Chuck Norris FactsHere are 30 Random Chuck Norris Facts. Return to Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris. The best gift to give Chuck Norris is something he doesn't have, which is, well... virginity When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Medusa looked at Chuck Norris and she turned to stone. When Chuck Norris was born, the doctors had to call the bomb squad He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick. The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second. Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond. Guns don't kill people Chuck Norris kills people. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris. There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota. Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat. Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten. Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear. Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy. Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef. Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. 4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths. |