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30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts

Here are 30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts.
You can also see the Top 30 Anti-Chuck Norris Facts as rated by our users. Would you please rate some of our Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts?

Current Joke Rating: 2.84

Chuck Norris sits down to pee.

Current Joke Rating: 2.58

Chuck Norris, realizing he his career is going down the tube, drowns himself in a gallon of ice cream which is promptly melted by his warm, salty tears.

Current Joke Rating: 2.68

Chuck Norris doesn't shave because he fears the razor.

Current Joke Rating: 2.83

Chuck Norris was once the subject of a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" bukkake. The tears of joy he wept reanimated both Jean Cocteau, who filmed the event, and Oscar Wilde, who made snide comments about Norris' masculinity.

Current Joke Rating: 2.91

Chuck Norris once went into a bar and was heard saying, "I'll have a Mike's Hard Lemonade."

Current Joke Rating: 3.08

Chuck Norris is proud of the facts that his pubes are longer and girthier than his penis.

Current Joke Rating: 2.96

In The Way of the Dragon, Chuck Norris's ass-kicking at the hands of Bruce Lee isn't all staged. During one especially close exchange, Chuck Norris attempted to cop a feel, which Mr. Lee did not appreciate. The subsequent scene was left in "for the sake of reality."

Current Joke Rating: 2.48

The origin of the name "Norris" is actually French. The translation of the word "Chuck" means homosexual.

Current Joke Rating: 2.66

Chuck Norris likes to take bubble baths with scented candles.

Current Joke Rating: 2.93

Chuck Norris once took a bite out of a Boy George vinyl and swallowed it.

Current Joke Rating: 2.74

When asked who his favorite actor was, Chuck Norris replied, "Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. Wait, uh, I mean Arnold Schwarzenegger or, uh, Sylvester Stallone! Yeah, they're manly right?!"

Current Joke Rating: 2.88

Chuck Norris is the only person with no matches on eHarmony.com.

Current Joke Rating: 2.84

Chuck Norris' ejaculatory fluid is composed of 100% Noxema skin cream.

Current Joke Rating: 2.89

A shepherd once accidentally spilled his coffee on Chuck Norris' lap and refused to apologize. Chuck Norris went to the man's field and fucked every one of his sheep. Chuck Norris wasn't trying to get back at him, he just loves to fuck sheep.

Current Joke Rating: 2.77

Chuck Norris's penis has master envy.

Current Joke Rating: 2.85

Chuck Norris has guest directed four episodes of Will and Grace. Before each episode, Chuck Norris requested that Grace be replaced by his friend, "Peter."

Current Joke Rating: 2.88

Chuck Norris didn't go to college, but his mom went to college!

Current Joke Rating: 2.78

Chuck Norris has agreed to star in Brokeback Mountain 2.

Current Joke Rating: 2.52

Chuck Norris auditioned for the T-800 part in the Terminator, but was refuted when it was discovered that he was part man, part cyborg himself. Capitalizing on the machine he was made out of, Chuck Norris assembled official Chuck Norris dildos with self-described "12 inches of action and excitement!"

Current Joke Rating: 2.91

Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the "Are you a good boyfriend" quiz in Cosmo.

Current Joke Rating: 2.7

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Current Joke Rating: 3.04

Chuck Norris was once heard saying, "Boy, I sure wish Jessica Simpson had smaller tits."

Current Joke Rating: 2.86

Chuck Norris is the only person whom the Axe Effect Deodorant Spray will not work on.

Current Joke Rating: 2.92

Chuck Norris's favorite Mario Kart character is Princess Peach. Princess Peach's favorite "Walker, Texas Ranger" character is Jimmy Trivette.

Current Joke Rating: 2.86

Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got one, because no one wanted to hear him pout about it again.

Current Joke Rating: 2.8

Chuck Norris caused Hurricane Katrina and encouraged George W. Bush to let Michael Brown handle it.

Current Joke Rating: 2.81

Chuck Norris 2006: Spin-kicks for Breast Cancer Research.

Current Joke Rating: 2.96

Chuck Norris is the driving force behind Chuck Norris facts. He has even been caught in public speaking in the third person.

Current Joke Rating: 2.81

Chuck Norris once painted a portrait of himself. He only used 3 colors. Nobody said anything.

Current Joke Rating: 2.8

Chuck Norris is the only man who can enter a strip club with $500 and leave with $500.